Boy
by Jugbean
Summary: My tribute to Li Syaoran. From the audience's perspective, we remember fondly once more the reasons and ways we love Syaoran, and the memories we have had watching him grow.


Cardcaptor Sakura

A Tribute to Li Syaoran

****

Boy

We remember him as an ordinary boy at the beginning - usual floppy auburn-colored tresses hanging like clawing tendrils over his eyes, making us ponder if his equally brown eyes ever got itchy, the steeled determination sewn upon those chambers revealing years beyond his age of wisdom and strength.

We remember him as the boy who was selfish in the beginning, who only bothered stealing the Clow Cards from Kinomoto Sakura. He was always there in Tomoeda Elementary school uniform, with the school cap neatly pressed upon his crown, his tiny pair of shorts hanging just above his knees, his fists always clenched in an emotion of rage and a display of unbreakable adamancy.

His voice was always rough, falling mid-range somewhere between rudeness and coarse speaking. His manners towards Kinomoto Sakura, as we audience viewed in the beginning, was rowdy and nowhere close to politeness. Yet we stood by and watched and saw Li Syaoran moved through the story gradually.

We then watch as he began donning that trademark green robe of his, the yin-yang symbol etched upon the middle in a round circle, the yellow frames of his outfit, the peculiarly shaped cap upon his crown. Then there was the silver sword, always clutched tightly in his palm with the unwillingness to let go.

This was Syaoran.

But we watched him grow eventually.

We remember him gradually possessing a strong sense of protectiveness towards Sakura, towards all his classmates. He was always there in the most critical times all of a sudden, lending a helping hand. Abruptly, his selfish demeanor we knew him in the first place was displaced by such a gentlemanly gesture of protection. Towards the raven-haired lady songstress Tomoyo, he began toning down around her and learnt to listen to her mature advices. His rashness dissipated overtime.

We remember him in suffuses of red blushes, all of a sudden finding himself foreign to the topic of love when he felt something strange towards the card mistress. We watch him struggle with his maelstrom of feelings, watch as his head bow shyly or merely look away in a gesture of confusion colored with red blushes many a times. Such a one was he that grew up knowing love.

Thereafter, he continued to grow. From a selfish kid he was, he learnt to place others in priority before himself. He learnt the hard way that the people around him were as important. We learnt how he learnt to handle love in the end, despite knowing it would be an unrequited love.

We watch as he continued to jump before the card mistress with sword in his hands and an undying aura of protectiveness around him being impenetrable. We watch as he began sharing his feelings with Daidouji Tomoyo with the regards of an older sister, watch as he quietly listened to the songstress and took advice from her. We watch as he consulted Tomoyo whenever he was at a state of confusion.

Then there were times when he would blush all over again, and then ponder if ever how he should tell Sakura of his feelings. There was courage, and he summoned it up painfully. There were futile attempts when he tried to grasp hold of moments to spill out his moments. And then, abruptly, they stopped.

We remember him with doleful eyes and its edges painted with melancholy and utter understanding. What had been the saying that had made the audience; all of us, so mesmerized and entranced by his maturity?

"If I tell her, she will feel very troubled. The person that she loves, loves someone else. Before she told me, she'd forced herself not to cry as not to make Yukito feel sad. The feeling of not being loved, Sakura understands the most! If I tell her my feelings, Sakura will become very troubled because she doesn't want to make me feel sad. That's why I cannot tell her!"

Such a boy he was that made the tears spring to our eyes. Such kindness and understanding was unable to be match by any mortal beings.

We remember him holding Sakura in his embrace, extending a hand of comfort and a blue striped handkerchief to her. Eyes engulfed with sadness for a close friend and a secret love, yet filled with understanding and a thousand sayings of "It's alright. I'm here".

"Chanto wakatteru."

And we fall in love with Li Syaoran all over again.

We remember that evening, as the sun dipped beneath the horizon powdered with blue sprinkles of the night, as the swings swinging in oblivion behind the two young teenagers, the auburn-haired boy holding the seemingly fragile, petite figure of the card mistress.

"It's alright. I'm sure you will find this person one day, so don't worry."

We remember the embarrassment attached to his tanned cheeks when he had gazed down boyishly at the scarf the card mistress had painfully knitted for him. Touched, he had been at a loss of words for a few moments. Realization hit him starkly, and it was then he decided it was best to keep such unrequited love best at bay, in prevention of hurting the person he loved most.

We remember the day the call came - a confirmation to the end of everything seemingly. Packed luggage sat by the sides of his bed, wearing a dark brown jacket with a neat pair of trousers, his hair combed… Beforehand, he was still in school, wearing the gray-colored winter coat that was the dress code of Tomoeda Elementary.

"I am glad to have at least met you." He had spoken so softly; almost inaudibly, as he leant upon the railings of the bridge overlooking the waters. Behind, the card mistress looked almost confused. What ever was he saying?

"You have a lot of qualities I don't have." He had looked up. "Thank you for everything."

And he had ran away in hope not to see the sadness upon her face, the confusion, or merely because he had wanted to avoid handling with his emotions.

Such a confused boy Syaoran was that got our hearts stirring. Caring for all of the people around him yet never considering the thoughts of himself. The selfless demeanor of Li Syaoran that changed our lives forever.

We remember Syaoran at the airport and a breathless card mistress chasing him. He handed the gray sorrowful looking teddy bear with a sweet, sad smile. Its name was Syaoran. The brief moment where their hands held the teddy bear in an exchange of possession. Then both smiled a little smile, tainted cheeks with red and pink sprinkles.

"We will meet again, won't we?"

Once again, we are enfolded into the ride of a thousand memories, the journey of all of it began. Once more we watch Syaoran grow - the selfish boy who only wanted things for himself to boost his experiences and gains, to the mature and thoughtful and understanding boy who only wanted to offer so much as a shoulder to all the people around him, to allow himself a chance to protect each and everyone.

Such is this boy Li Syaoran, whom had all of us watching from the sofa alike, fall in love with him.

To you, Syaoran-kun, thank you for all the joys and dreams you have brought to my life, and for coloring it in the most wondrous ways I never thought possible.

****

Owari

chiri no tenshi


End file.
